The Heart Cries...

This is written by one of you, one who has felt that no matter how hard she tried, it didn't matter...she would always fall and be looked down upon. In those dark moments when despair seems too much to bear and the world comes crashing to the ground...she looked up and this is what she said...

Help me to commit all the way,
Help me to let go of all this pain.
Help me to see through this fog and rain,
And to know that you are always there.
To guide me on this rugged trail,
Which I cannot by look at and shy away.
Jesus, it's too hard a climb,
And I feel I lack the strength to even try.
But not that I have realized just how far down I've come along,
Help me to pick up my cross and start where I left off.
Though it hurts to admit that I've been wrong,
And though I know it won't just be another walk,(but an arduous climb)
I cling to You that You will, if you please, take me back
And show me how to be more like Thee.
Oh, sweet Jesus, how it hurts! Please, show me how to go on and learn.
Help me not to go or hold back, nor hesitate,
Just because my next step might seem a bit "unsafe".
Give me the courage to leap out into the abyss, fully letting go
And trusting that in that space of time when I am one with the wind,
Soaring high about the pull of gravity,
You will have granted my heart's wish
--You will have given my wings to fly high and out of this pit!

How you ever felt so helplessly lost and that you can't make it one more step and that cross seems to much to bear? I know that this year has been the hardest I have faced. But despite all of it, He has always been there. When I felt like I so lost and not even worth rescuing and couldn't do much but whisper "Help me, I cannot!" He lifted me up and said "I was just waiting for you say that."
Sometimes we feel like we don't deserve to be helped, and are too proud to ask for help, I know I am! But I have seen that it's the little decisions we make each moment that pave the way for our future. Yes, you have heard it before...it's the little choice, the little foxes that spoil the vine...well, I have just taken a look back and realized just how true that is.
I have decided that with the Lord's help and with my Eleria, I will continue on for Him. Even though it hurts, though the pain may seem too hard to bear.
Please, do pray for me...it's not an easy one to tackle, but if with every moment I chose to do what I know He wants me to, then a minute will pass, then an hour, then a whole day...and then I will have to start again the next day. But with every day it has become easier, and I don't want to let go.
Thank you for being there!
Much love...

In humility and desperation, call on the keys of change, regeneration and deliverance to make you a new woman--one who loves Me and My Word above all, and who is an embodiment of the new weapons and moves of My Spirit.

See You When I See You...

A dear friend of mine just left Romania,--I love you, Bunny... you are dearly missed! But I know that the Lord is taking good care of you. And we are all praying for you with all our hearts!
I wrote something for you so you don't forget us over here in the land of dreams...

Farewell, my friend
Remember this is not the end,
Nor is it a good-bye
For Jesus is holding us side by side.
And one day, not too far from here,
We'll look back and smile through our tears.
These burdens which we now bear,
He'll turn them to the cross we'll wear.
Smile, don't you cry. He is right there by your side.
And in those times when you feel alone,
Don't forget:--Just don't let go!

NEWS LETTER '05

PTL! Another month has passed (4 more to go YAY!!) and it has been even better than the one before---not easier but definitely better.

I thought I had cried all the tears I had left to cry, boy was I wrong! (I have to mention though that the Lord has lovingly wiped each one of them away.) I thought the hardest part was over--not quite.

It was a difficult month for different reasons some too long to even begin to explain, but what you should all know is that I’m still here, still hanging on, and still fighting alongside you in prayer and by the grace of God I will continue to do so.

I’ve felt so weak this month both physically and spiritually. I felt it was too much strain to even hold on to the Lord’s hand and that’s when He said to me: “You don’t have to strive so hard to hold My hand, just let Me hold yours.” Isn’t He the best?

Have you ever felt like a “rotten apple”? …For whatever reason? Well I know how that feels now for I have plenty of times this month, and I know it’s discouraging to feel that way and like no one really cares...But I tend to forget that there is some One who’s always there to love us and that looks into our hearts and deeper than anyone else can, can you guess who?... You got it, -- JESUS! He’s always there even when I fall and fail, even when I push Him away and when I don’t try my best. Even when He’s been waiting for me for hours and I’ve been ignoring Him, He’s always there; always faithful always loving. Isn’t He wonderful?

I’ve truly felt like I’ve been walking through the desert, the scorching sun burning me, the hot air striking my face, and the burning sand stinging my feet. Weak and tired of yet another sand storm, but my sweet Jesus has been faithful and has given me times of peace and surcease from the battle, shade from the sun, an oasis in the midst of the desert. And He’s helping me more often than not to look back and see the progress He’s helped me make. (It really does wonders for you to turn back and see how far you’ve come, you guys should try it, -- just ask the Lord to show you.)

This month the Lord has really taught me to be patient; to depend on Him fully because I don’t have anyone that I can depend on, but Him.

I “lost” my ticket to Mexico, (it got cancelled) and I have no money to get a new one, which means that I can’t go back there any time soon. (Mexico has been “my country.” It’s the only place where I could live ok, with not many problems and get a job… etc, etc). So the Lord closed that door and I know He wants me to continue being a missionary even without the “title” or status.

I think one difficult part of this month is realizing how much I’m missing. (I felt so sad about the XD, by next year I might not be able to attend as I will turn 22, buah!! But who knows He might have something up His sleeve), all the new Word coming out, like that “Gold, Roses and Thorns” GN. I saw the cover and I instantly thought... “Man, just from looking at it seems it was written just for me.”

You have the Word-- treasure it! Read it, enjoy it, and dwell on it. I’m getting a little taste of what it will be like in the End Time with no Word... but TTL! I’m going back to the basics and I know it won’t be forever. I know it’s definitely making me appreciate it more and I know by the time I get to read it I will be very, very happy to have it back...so read it, amen?

The Lord has also been very sweet to me this month and has given me the opportunity to visit a very close friend--(I LOVE YOU DEBBIE!!) and I was also able to say bye to a very close friend of mine who is going to India--(I’ll miss you Kat.) And He gave me many of my material heart’s desires. (He supplied a guitar, nice perfumes, clothes, an mp3 player, microphone\headphone set and some donations that came right when I needed them. He never fails). To encourage me He even told a good friend that was visiting the home here that I needed a charger and rechargeable batteries and He told him to get it for me (GBY! Victor). Does He spoil us or what?

I want to really thank you all for praying for me and caring for me. I would like to give special thanks to Mynomi—thank you for always being there. Gabe—thanks for your encouragement and care. Sara Powdrill—thanks for taking the time to hear from the Lord for me. Debbie—thank you for your encouragement and sample that says more than words.

Well, those were some of the victories I had this month. I hope this will be an encouragement to any of you who have been going trough difficult times this month.

If I can make it...SO CAN YOU!

People have said to me recently: “We’re so proud of you for making it and for doing this and that...” But the truth is-- I’m just doing exactly what you’re doing. I’m choosing to stand. I’m choosing to fight and hold on to the Lord even with my last breath and so are you! Therefore, we’re going to make it no doubt. Remember it’s all about wanting that crown every day. I love you all very much, thank you for your prayers, love and care. XOOXOXOX—Consuelo

The battle is not over yet so please continue to keep me in your prayers.

Just a Peek

I came to you in crucial time,

I knew I had to give my all.

With you the Lord answered my cry,

For I knew He saw me fall.

I heard you call me in the wind,

I heard whispered in my ear,

“Come to us we need you here.”

And from this road you need not fear.

In many ways you changed my life,

You taught me strength, you taught me love.

You brought me peace amidst the strife.

And I will miss you.

I will miss your lovely country side,

I will miss your lushly mountains.

That I will miss you, I cannot hide,

And all the memories that rush like fountains.

I will miss your warmth and friendliness,

Your kind and simple ways.

You filled my life with liveliness,

That I will not forget.

I will miss your love and generosity,

I will miss your flowers and your hills.

To think of my wonderful time here,

My soul with joy it fills.

With every smiling face that greets me,

You help me Lord to go my way.

Thanking You for the time I spent here,

Thanking You for everyday.

You have been my land of hopes and dreams,

You've made me smile, you've made me cry.

I'm saying good bye… or so it seems,

At least for a time from here I must fly.

Romania.... Oh Romania,

I must leave and go away.

It hurts my heart to let you go,

How I wish that I could stay.

I've learned so much in this place,

Lessons I take with me today.

And the beauty of it all,

Will never fade away.

CHOOSE TO STAND

Do you ever get the impression that a certain trial is never going to end and that it’s only going to get worse?

Because even when you think you’re fighting and doing your best, it seems that all of Hell has decided to come get you and you feel like you’ve never had that many trials in a day? Do you ever feel that way?

I know I do sometimes, (like today.) I felt so discouraged and depressed and as I was trying to fight and praise tons more trials came to my head and doubts and lies from the enemy...so many I really felt incapable of handling it.

Sometimes I feel like I’m fighting too many battles at the same time, and let me tell ya it’s not easy… I know you have all been through that at least a few times, am I right? So I asked the Lord: “Why is it that whenever I decide in my heart that I’m going to fight, and be praiseful, and I’m going to get a victory I get fought the most? Why is it that when I make that effort I get hit with the most battles and the most trials?”

And He said something like this:

Jesus speaking: I’m going to use the example of a sports movie this time (kind of like a parable).

Have you ever watched one of those sports movies where there’s the good team, (that’s you and I’m your coach), and there’s the “bad team”, (a.k.a. the Devil and his minions)? In one of those movies usually the good team has to put a huge effort in the game to learn to play as a team (in everyone of those movies there’s difficult times for the team, such as when one of the players gets hurt or too many good players are out of the game, and usually they don’t start out by winning too much).

But then when the team learns to play together, not as a one man show but as a team, then things start improving and you see the good team winning a lot more often than before. Then you have the bad team which sees you as a huge threat because they’re used to winning against everyone... ( the Devil has pretty much the world in his hands....except of course that the Lord can take it away any time and we’ve got a good deal of it already heheh!) But somehow they know it won’t be easy to beat you (if it even happens).

So the bad coach (the Devil) sees you striving to win and really putting your all into the game and he gathers his team and says: “Look at number 14(or whatever,-- that’s you) he’s really in our way, we cannot win unless he’s out of the picture, so go hurt him! Get him out of the way, -- kill him!” So the filthy little scum sends his little ugly minions to hurt you while you’re playing and fouling you as much as they can so they can have you out of the picture.

So it is when you’re striving to heed my words, when you’re fighting to raise the standard, when you’re doing all you can to hang on to your crown, and when you’re working towards that which is eternal.....But of course the Devil knows you’re going to win if you keep it up, so he tries his best to send lies, discouragement, trials of every sort, to bring you down and out of the game.

YET you must also remember one thing; in all those movies the good team ALWAYS wins, even if it’s hard. Even when they have to work and train A LOT! To reach that medal/gold cup/1^st place etc...

So you My loves will win; no matter what the Devil throws your way. No matter what the obstacle… Stand fast in My Word and in the power of the keys and you will NOT be defeated!! No matter how hard it gets, keep holding on to your crown.

Decide in your heart everyday that you want that crown, -- that 1^st price-- And that no matter what comes your way you’re going to fight to hold on to it (till the blood runs down your arms, being true to the creed that is written on your heart, picking up your cross daily and following Me). Amen? (eop)

Isn’t that awesome? We will NEVER be defeated so long as we call on the keys, stay in the Word, and hang on to our crown.

I want that crown (and I know you want it too) so let’s pray for each other and let’s stay true to our calling. Let’s choose to stand!

With much love –Consuelo

P.S. pray for me lots as I’ll be praying for you guys, as well, and feel free to send this to anyone that you u think could use it LOVE YOU ALL LOTS!!!